Walk it out

So – there was a follow-up question to my last post. How has rehabilitating your bird impacted your faith?

What an excellent question.

I think I have found the whole relationship, progress, and similarities very insightful. Her walk and rehabilitation is not unlike my own.

I grew up in the church. Going to church. Potlucks. Special events. Youth Group. Even, missions trips and conferences.

And yet, as I grew closer to adulthood, I felt myself drifting away. Doubting the goodness of God. Doubting if there even was a God.

I didn’t go to church, or read my Bible, or pray, for years. I honestly could’ve cared less. I was out on my own, doing my own thing, and God was not someone that I had a personal relationship with, or even truly understood that, that was how it worked.

Fast forward several years… About 7 all together. And, suddenly, here I was with a 3 year old, my soon to be husband, and my life that was quite chaotic on a daily basis, between trying to put food on the table, go to school, work, keep a roof over our heads, etc. And, here, my little son, tells me – he wants to go to church…

But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God”

Luke 18:16

There were a few other things that led up to this moment as well (people asking me about Jesus, someone praying for me at the store) – that made me look to my ceiling in that moment, and say, “Ok God, no more signs, I’m good.” As, of course, the story of Jonah rang through my head, that He already seemed to be calling me home, and now he has used the mouth of my own child to escort me to where I needed to be.

So – I brought it up to my husband, who was not brought up the same way. “Our son has requested to go to church.”

My husband’s response (to my utter disbelief in that moment, and only reinforcing the feeling I was already having that this was all a sign.) – “Ok, well I guess, if you want to take him to church. Go ahead. Not like they teach anything bad there.”

So, I did. I started taking my son to church. Out of the pure intent that it wasn’t really going to change anything between me and God, but I wasn’t about to deny my son something that apparently he wanted.

And, slowly, as I started to truly hear the Word. It started to chip away at me.

I started to look forward to going to church.

I started understanding the fellowship at church, and the fact that Jesus wanted to have a personal relationship with me.

I started to read my Bible, outside of church.

I started praying.

I started doing devotionals.

I started hearing the Holy Spirit stirring within me, to hear more, see more, read more, do more.

I began surrounding myself with Christian friends that would help me grow.

Then, I started to struggle a little with the church that I was at. Some of the things weren’t quite jiving with what I was reading.

And, then, one of my son’s friends, invited us to their church.

OOOOOHHH buddy. This other church seemed to have meat and potatoes, and my original church still seemed to be working off milk.

I started switching back and forth, one week this church, next week the other church.

I will also add-in here, that while I was growing up, my parents did stress to me that church was more fluid than most followers seem to understand. That God doesn’t just live in this one church on 5th street, but in all these churches. Wherever they’re preaching that Jesus died for your sins, and is your salvation, and the way to heaven – that’s God’s church. And, that nobody seems to have it exactly right. Everyone has certain parts right, and maybe working on other parts, or whatever. So – this has contributed to my fluid understanding – that God is not a building, and has allowed me to stay open to the fact that you need to go where you’re getting fed.

Another quick note here, also – after I was grown, and attending church again on a regular basis, my mother, my father, and myself all attended different churches – but we could all sit down together, and share our different insights and understandings gain from each of them, and help each other grow. Which, is also, very similar to the Ladies’ Bible Study I lead – we all attend different churches too – but it is really cool to hear all the different snippets from different sermons that we hear that help tie our faith together and help each of us grow in our walk.

Back to the story – so I was bouncing back and forth for a while, then I finally committed to the new (to me) church, because I really felt like I was getting fed there.

Then, I started listening to podcasts of sermons all over the country.

I started a Ladies’ Bible Study.

I started a blog about walking in faith.

And, just this past year, I started doing some local missions work again.

So – I see the similarities between the bird and myself, because it’s been a slow process. He had the ladder there all along. I just had to take one step, and then another, and that step encouraged me to take another, and another. I returned to church, 10 years ago. This process has spanned 10 years. And, there is almost nothing about me that is the same since I started this journey, and I could not be more grateful.

That I continue to take steps, and he continues to be there, encouraging me. Waiting for me. Feeding me. Taking care of me. And, just letting me warm up to Him. To let Him show me all the incredible things He has in store for me. I just have to keep taking steps. Staying close to Him. He’ll keep showing me that I can trust Him. Just like we keep showing the bird, we’re worth being trusted. We’re not going to abandon her. We’re not going to force her. We give her space and respect her, and she’ll eventually come around on her own – because we just keep showing her, how good we are. Just like God. If you give Him a chance – He’ll show you his goodness, and love, and grace. For all circumstances, in all things, He is a good God.

Let’s Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your patience. For your grace. That you leave the 99 to rescue the 1. Thank you for moving in supernatural, and natural ways Father God. Thank you that you never give up on us, no matter where we’re at, or what we’re doing. Or if we’ve even turned our backs on you, and walked away, you don’t write us off, you keep actively pursuing us. You are always chasing after your children, and patiently waiting for them to return home. That you show up each and every day, in your faithfulness, to show us that you can be trusted. Thank you for sending your son, to make a personal relationship possible. Thank you, for being you, and loving us so much that we’re allowed to see that, and to have this amazing relationship with you. Thank you, for all you do, and all that you are, and all that you would have us be. IN JESUS’ NAME!! AMEN!